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Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Give me a C.A.N.A.D.A!


The view out the window as we descended on our approach into Vancouver was the best I’ve seen since we started travelling. Miles and miles of snowcapped rocky mountains draped in fluffy white clouds. Stepping out of the plane into the terminal it was like stepping out of a sunbed and into a giant walk in fridge…

 (Take off in the sun, land in the snow)

After collecting bags, and explaining our life histories to the immigration officer who had the deadly stare of a great white, we stepped foot out of the airport. Although there was no fresh snow on the ground that moment felt a little like the scene in the video below which I’m sure you’ll recognise…

Transferred to the hotel and bunkered down for the night comforted by the joys of Canadian (mostly American) TV. If the adverts are anything to go by then we’re about to spend the next two weeks cramming in doughnuts coffee and burgers, taking pills and vitamin supplements, and calling flirty women for $4 a minute. Those three themes seem to cover about 95% of all commercials…

We also go immediately hooked on a show called “Bar Rescue” where this bloke turns around failing bar businesses in the US. He’s basically looks like Ray’s brother Robert in “Everybody loves Raymond” with the personality of a Gordon Ramsay who’s just found out his lamb is not the perfect shade of pink . Brilliant tele.


On our first morning we picked up our campervan. He’s called Woody and is a bit of a monster, as are all the cars here in Canada. In England if you see a massive 4x4 truck it often stands out. Here a mini cooper would probably scare the shit out of people. 


The guy running the van rental office was the mechanic. They don’t have a sales guy working during the winter because business is so slow. Consequently he was about 70 and had no idea how to use a credit card machine, computer or probably even operate a “push only” door. When I booked I was supposed to pay $500 but they only took $300 at the time. He said “yeah I got shit for that”. A few minutes later he told me how he’d been refunding people deposits that were supposed to be refunded from their LA branch. Again he said “and I got shit for that”. Basically seemed that this guy gets shit for everything…


So hopped in the Van and immediately started driving down the wrong side of the road in this huge truck. Steering wheel is on the left hand side and the drive on the right. It’s like your driving in a mirror, and takes some getting used to. What it also pretty nuts is that you can turn right on a red light PROVIDING you don’t see any pedestrians crossing. Coming from a land where a red light ALWAYS MEANS STOP it took a while (and numerous cars pushing me into the middle of intersections) to rewire my brain to see red lights not as a signal to stop if you want to go right, but as a signal to go if there is no one crossing…makes sense right?? :-/

The city of Vancouver is beautiful. It is consistently voted one of the worlds best cities to live in and its not hard to see why. Everywhere you turn the landscape views blend skyscrapers into distant mountains. 


The buildings have beautiful character and everything is spotlessly clean. No crappy toll roads, nice big roads to drive on and something to eat or drink every 10 meters.  We spent the day in the city, finding the worlds first every steam-powered clock and having our first of hopefully many coffee and doughnuts before checking out the famous Stanley Park, which borders the city on the road heading north. 

Got some great views back at the city whist dodging hundreds of cyclists and joggers who religiously stick to the one-way system around the 13km perimeter route of the park. Although beautiful we nicknamed it “Stanely Park – The Park You Can’t Escape” because when you drive the car around it is impossible to find your way out onto the main route that heads right through the middle of the park and north out of Vancouver. 



We did two and half laps before deciding our only option was to head back into the city center and do a massively dangerous U-turn on a 8 lane freeway…

Spent our first night in the Van in the town of Squamish and everywhere you look the mountain views are just amazing. Heading into the town this morning for coffee and doughnuts then on our way north 50k’s to the world famous Whistler and hopefully get some time on the ski runs that were built for the winter Olympics.

Hats and gloves at the ready to protect our soon-to-be-frozen Ozzy brown skin…

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