This morning we took a drive out to the A&P show in Richmond, which is a kind of country fair thing with agricultural suppliers selling tractors, a food market and lots of animals events like dog trials, cattle and pony shows etc.
We stumbled across an iconic kiwi activity upon hearing a rumble of noise from one of the farm barns. Inside was a raised stage with 4 blokes going hammer and tongs
against each other sheering sheep. Awesome.
Each sheerer had to remove all the wool from 5 sheep the quickest, and once they had cleaned one they shoved them between their legs and down a chute, presumably to rejoin their new naked buddies. Anyone who knows me will know i'm not much of a dab hand with animals full stop, and not in my wildest dreams could I drag out a sheep, pin it down to the ground and attack it with a bunch of clippers . Apparently these blokes can get through more than 500 sheep a day!
The sheep seemed pretty comfortable really. They kicked about a bit but the good shearers would just cradle them up between their legs and effortlessly clean off all the wool in one big sheet - awesome to watch and the speed was just unbelievable.
Round the corner from the sheep shearing we spotted what seemed like a health and safety nightmare waiting to happen. Most of the front row of the little grandstand contained empty seats. Probably because the event on show was axe chopping. Thats right, 3 meters from the crowd 8-10 massive burley country boys swinging axes like golf clubs burying themselves in wood shavings as they raced each other against the clock.
Not a chance could this be done in the UK. The red tape would strangle. Here's a headline from a previous event held last year in christchurch which highlights the danger! http://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/5950155/Man-critical-after-axe-incident
Dangerous? Maybe, but regardless it was totally gripping. There were a series of qualification rounds and finals as they took part in different types of chopping tasks. We must have been watching for 3 hours at least. I'm convinced that this sport has a future on ESPN with features like Axe Cam and pop up stats like chops per minute or even those slow motion high resolution camera shots that capture their forearms explode and their heads wobble as they smash the axe into the wood. I'm yet to come across a more manly sport.
The highlight of the day had to be the appearence of a very slow figure making his way out from the trees to take his position atop his log and begin raising his axe to take second place in his heat. This man was 83 YEAR OLD Jimmy Stewart - Thats right AN 83 YEAR OLD AXEMAN! and to coin a kiwi phrase the man was a "bloody legend".
If I can still blink when im 83 i'll be over the moon, let alone swing an axe and crack logs in half!! What has that man been eating all his life?! Apparently he used to work in the forests hacking out railway sleepers from trees at the age of 13. Thats a real man. More Jimmy Stewarts in this world, thats what we need!
No comments:
Post a Comment